I’ve realized that ‘inner gardening’ isn’t just about planting good thoughts—it’s about drawing firm boundaries. I have to decide that I will no longer allow anxiety to fester in my mind like an uninvited guest. How do you protect your inner peace when you feel that first ‘creep’ of worry? I had to learn how to tend my inner garden, and part of that stewardship is recognizing that boundaries aren’t just for other people—they are for our own thought patterns, too.
Can any one of you, by worrying, add a single hour to your life?
Matt 6:27
Theoretically, the answer is simple. But in practice? That is where the battle lies. In moments of pressure, worry doesn’t just arrive; it takes over like a spell. I have spent many nights trapped in anxious cycles that robbed me of sleep, only to wake up with a headache and a profound loss of energy. It is like running on a hamster wheel—exhausting, yet taking me nowhere.
The Day the “Perfect Plan” Collapsed
A few years ago, I was planning a birthday party for my sister. I had a vision of how everything would fit together: a perfect braai and the “perfect” gift—a new phone she desperately needed. I was obsessed with the coordination, driven by a deep-seated need for control.
When the day arrived, it felt like a train wreck. Not only did I fail to get the “perfect” gift in time, but her husband ended up buying her the exact same phone I had envisioned. My heart sank. I was an emotional wreck, questioning my entire process.
In that disappointment, I had to face a hard truth: Was my response truly noble, or was it selfish? I claimed I just wanted her to have the best day, but I was actually preoccupied with my own conviction that my plan had to be perfect. I couldn’t accept being “wrong.”
The Burden of External Power
I realized then that it takes immense power to give up control—control over people, outcomes, and circumstances. I had forgotten that the only thing I truly control is myself. Trying to manage everything else is mentally bankrupting because it is, quite simply, impossible.
I was trying to control my external environment because I thought I could only rely on external power. I was unaware of the internal resources residing within me. We often forget that the human resource—our creativity, our resilience—is at the center of how the world actually works. I had to learn to do my best, take responsibility for my actions, and trust that my “best” was enough, even when things panned out differently than I imagined.
Tending to the Inner Garden
At the root of my obsession was fear. Somewhere in my past, I began to believe that the only way to stay safe was to control my environment. It was a survival mechanism born in a vacuum of information when I was a child. But while that shield helped me survive then, it was preventing me from thriving now.
To move from fear to light, I had to enter my “inner garden.” This requires the courage to face fear directly—to ask the hard questions and wait patiently for the answers. It requires empathy for oneself, listening without judgment.
Finding the Light
Confronting these fears makes way for a cultivated inner life. Living a lie can become a comfort zone; sometimes the truth feels like an uncomfortable visitor we aren’t quite ready to receive. But the truth is the only thing that empowers us.
By taking responsibility for my inner space and doing the necessary “gardening,” I am learning to draw from my own creative power. I am stepping off the hamster wheel and finding my light.
Lord, grant me the strength to accept things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
St Francis of Assisi
Tending the inner garden is at the center of applying the wise words of St Francis Assisi.
✍🏽 About the Author
Esther Bobo is a wellness storyteller and advocate passionate about helping women heal, grow, and live authentically. Through her writing, she explores themes of self-awareness, emotional healing, and spiritual transformation — inviting readers to reconnect with their inner light and live from a place of truth.